A Dream of Meanwhile
by danceDANCEdance
Summary: Updated! A Fai/Kurogane/Ashura/Yasha-ou story set in the Shura-arc. When Fai meets Yasha, the man who looks like the man he flees, he realizes that the dimensions they cross are more than worlds, they are dreams that are all too easy to get lost within...
1. Chapter 1

_**Warnings**_: Spoilers up to the Celes Arc - possible spoilers up to the latest chapter (Chapter 190)

**_Other Warnings_**: Shounen-ai (mochiron! This **_is _**a Fai/Kurogane/Ashura-ou fic :)

**_In conclusion:_** Please enjoy! Also, I always love any reviews you'd be so kind to leave. Thanks in advanced!

**In the Meanwhile**

**Chapter 1**

_My_, there have been some pretty amazing worlds so far, wouldn't you agree? Flame-roaring Kudan as tall as the sky– a new one for _me_, at least, acid-ball creating witches who manage not only to kiss, but to even get Kuro-puu to _blush_ (my favorite part!), learning a dance for when the drums come out at the party (it could happen, provided we visit Oto country again for a "drink") from telephone-game-loving, human-sacrificing rabbits…I mean, you can't make this stuff up!

It's been…fun. It truly has, but _this_ world trumps them, possessing a singular element that, I suppose I can't really complain the other worlds don't lack. I can't complain, but…

For the first time, Kuro-tan and I had found ourselves separated from Sakura, Shaoran, Mokona and I didn't even have a chance to take advantage of the language barrier before black flags had appeared on the horizon. Kuro-rin had drawn his sword, and in a surprising (but nevertheless token Kuro-puu) move, stepped in front of me and a moment later, as I stepped from behind him into the very path of a possible enemy, cursed.

Or maybe not. We couldn't understand each other a whit, and Kuro-puu has a certain, how should I put it? A certain lack of inflection…

Riding at the front of the army, terrifyingly solid, horribly there…was Ashura-ou. That's what I thought instantly, blindly, felt a daze of vertigo, thought clearly: _but Chii hasn't contacted me_ and distantly, quietly right behind that: _how long has it been since I've seen him_?

Yes, I surprise even myself, sometimes.

Shaken by this thought, or at least, by the ache the thought left behind, I took a bold step forward, reached out, and touched the cheek of the king who wore the face of the one I had left behind.

Not left behind, I corrected myself, _fled_.

The monster.

It was Kuro-sama who brought me from my reverie with an angry bark. In a flash, he had pulled me back, severed my contact from the king's cool skin and I stared up at his back from where I had fallen to the ground. He had his sword to the king's throat, but the king didn't look concerned, nor did he sound particularly worried…He was laughing and as I stared up at him, his familiar eyes were so very gentle…

What had the witch said? You might meet people with the same face, different lives, but their souls are the same?

The same soul, huh? I glanced back up into the gentle eyes and wondered if it were fair to imagine them darker and deeper suddenly, the eyes of a beast.

It was then that the king said something to Kuro-sama which, interestingly enough, he seemed to understand and suprisingly enough, had an eventually, reluctant effect. The sword was lowered and Kuro-tan nodded as the king dismounted. I saw how tightly Kuro-pin's hand gripped his sword, but the king paid it no attention. He had knelt beside me, held out his hand.

The king asked Kuro-puu something and the reply, at least, was something I understood, "Fai," he growled.

"Fai…" The king said – no – the king _breathed_ – and I stared at him, unable to move, to take the offered hand. _The same soul_, I thought, and I felt my hands shaking, just for a moment, before I reigned them under control again. From behind the king, Kuro-woof raised an eyebrow and was about to intercede, but then something happened.

The king smiled and slowly placed his hand on my hand. I gazed at it, then him and thought more clearly than I have thought of anything since leaving Celes: _this is not my Ashura-ou, I don't have to fear him_. And that thought was such a relief that I took his hand, I smiled at him, and he smiled back and it was so easy to ignore the thought that followed, just as true as the previous thought:

This wasn't Ashura-ou, and wherever we were, it wasn't Celes, and I didn't have to fear this man who wasn't my king.

Not yet.

**_To Be Continued…._**


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again :) I present to you 2 brand new chapters! Thank you very much to VoodooPriestess and DemonUntilDeath for your kind reviews! I appeciate it!

Please enjoy the new chapters :)

**Chapter 2**

It was touching, really, how Kuro-puu growled the whole way to camp, how his face was scrunched up and his canines particularly pronounced in his grimace.

And I wasn't even trying.

Honestly, I was distracted, by the language all around, whispers here and there where I caught my name, Kuro-pin's name, how the moon, nearly full, hung too low and close in the sky… I haven't seen a moon like that since Celes…

But, I suppose, all that aside, what really distracted me, was the king. I had listened, but I heard nothing that sounded like "Ashura", instead there was "Yasha-ou" – the same name of the statue at the shrine- and distracted, I said this name aloud and heard the king himself answer, "Fai."

And I stumbled.

And Kuro-puu growled and caught me.

And the king who was not my king, laughed soft enough that I felt that ache again. Something must have shown on my face, too fast for me to catch it, for I felt someone watching and when I turned, Kuro-tan was staring at me in that way he had that made me feel I was made of a particularly thin glass.

I smiled at him, but this time, he remained silent.

The camp was close and in no time, we had arrived. Obviously, there was a war on. There were easily a thousand men in camp, fires, like wicked fireflies, lit the way up the hills in the near distance. Men watched from the shadows and men watched from the glow of firelight with weary looks, hardened looks, and I couldn't help but glance at Yasha-ou.

I wondered, coldly, the reason for this war.

It might have been chance, but the king turned to me then and his black eyes shone with firelight. It might have been chance, but then again, there is no such thing.

And speaking of which, the fact that Kuro-puu remained close enough to be called not so much a _shadow_ as a _second skin_ was also not chance, but I didn't understand this as I understood nothing said so far. Kuro-sama had, but that just makes sense, doesn't it? Of course Kuro-tan would speak the language of a camp of soldiers…

The reason, as it turned out, came soon enough, in what must have been the heart of the camp. A huge bonfire blazed, men glanced up as the king approached, then bowed away as he dismounted, then ran as he drew his sword.

Magic.

I felt it swell involuntarily against the insides of me, my fingers twitched, sparked, my throat burned with it. For a moment, I did not stand in this new world: there were no soldiers watching like voyeurs in the dark, there was no fire, no Yasha-ou who might be a king or may be a god. Suddenly, there was only cold, cold, a cold that split my bones, struck into the core of a memory I had managed to not so much forget, as to deliberately set aside as we had traveled. Suddenly, I was in Celes, and before me was _my_ lord, the man I owed my very life, covered in the blood of the people I had sworn I would protect.

I felt Kuro-sama grip my arm then, jaring me out of my reverie. He stared at me, no expression on his face, but I wondered in the way people must wonder about wizards, how he had done that. He had _**known**_ I was about to use my magic and I wondered, in a frankly frightened way, if he had known what else I had thought. He was good at learning secrets I kept hidden. A good ninja. I would have to remember that.

I grinned at him and his expression changed. With another bark, Kuro-woof pushed me aside, his own weapon drawn and faced the king with a killer's face.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Self-control, actually, is something I excel at the same way Kuro-puu a blade and so, while the two men faced off, the air thick with tension, I stuffed all my fear into the back of my mind and tried to think.

I wasn't sure what was going on. Kuro-tan rushing into a fight wasn't exactly a _strange_ thing, but this didn't seem like a mere exercise and the way that Ash…Yasha-ou had waited until we arrived at camp where the soldiers surrounded us, pressed us into a ring of men before drawing a blade… After all, he was the lord of every man here and I could taste their loyalty to him, the need, not to be commanded, but to show their love for their lord even if it meant drawing blood – someone elses' or, if need be, their own.

There was something I was missing.

Kuro-tan moved first, a swipe of the blade, but in an exact counter-move, like the sway of a flower to the breath of the wind, Yasha-ou pulled back, his sword flashed. By this time Kuro-puu was grinning, but his grin was more real than my own. My magic waited, waited beneath my thoughts and the reigns of my self-control as I watched the fight progress. Kuro-rin was sweating, but Yasha-ou was barely flushed. The men around us made no sound and so the sounds of the fighting were deafening and I wondered, baffled, at the soldier's watching expressions: calm, detached, academic…

And then, like that, the fight was over.

Yasha-ou had parried Kuro-tan's blade, pulled close as the other had retreated. Their faces were inches apart and possessed such opposing elements as seemed to strike a beautiful balance: a face of grinning battle-fever and a face of gentle repose. Then, as Yasha-ou's blade had pulled back for the final blow, Kuro-pin had ducked, and in a move perhaps inspired by our young Shaoran, he kicked the king's legs from under him.

Kuro-sama waited until the king had risen, then bowed.

And the king, to him, bowed in return.

I think I understood then what this was. I watched Kuro-sama approach. The other soldiers bowed to him, and more tellingly, he bowed in return. As his back was to the fire, I could not see his face clearly. Instead I turned to the king only to see him watching me.

Waiting for me.

It made perfect sense: for a country at war, in need of fresh soldiers, even strangers met at the side of the road would be given a chance. Of course, there would need to be some sort of test…

And how else to gauge a skill than to face the most powerful one in camp?

Kuro-rin was saying something to me. Perhaps it was more to catch my attention than to communicate, for when I had finally turned to him, he grunted and grabbed my hand. His hand was hot from holding the sword which he now pressed into my palm.

I stared at him and he turned his back to me, settled down beside the (other) soldiers.

He waited.

I stared at the sword in my hand. It hung there like a ridiculous thing, useless, heavy. I didn't know how to use a sword and even if I did…

I closed my eyes, then, saw in my mind's eye Celes, now empty, now lifeless, the snows pure and white falling all around, but in the castle, the man with the black, gentle eyes…

_This isn't Celes_, I said to myself, but my control was faltering. _This is a mere soldier's exam_. Show them a few macho moves – I'm sure I've learned something from Kuro-sama I could use (he is considerably macho-if not _the_ most macho man in all worlds), get into the army, find a place for now, safety for now, until the children and Mokona could be found…

That's all this is, a wait between what really matters…

And…

My breath came faster, the stupid blade weighed my hand down.

And, even so, one day this will happen in Celes, it is inevitable. Think of this as practice. If I could at least raise a blade to him, perhaps, when the time comes I will not hesitate. I will do as I promised, I will…

"Fai?"

It was the king's voice, coming as my resolve struggled to harden, as my control became a porous, bleeding thing…

The king, the god, the man who was and wasn't, stood with his gentle face illuminated by firelight, by moonlight and he waited for me. All around us, the air was warm. The moon was almost full.

_This is not Celes_, I thought brightly.

I made _no_ promises to this world, to this man and so I had nothing to practice, nothing to prove and I _could_ relish that fact, not prepare for the end of a dream not yet ended.

I felt myself smile-and there was no control to the smile. It was real. I stepped forward as Yasha-ou raised his sword, and almost laughed at the gasps that sounded all around as I dropped mine.

As it clattered to the ground I knelt before the king, took the hand of his that gripped his sword and kissed, not the blade, but the soft, cool back of a human hand. When I peered up, Yasha's surprised look melted into a smile that took my breath and won my loyalty more than a blade ever could.

And as the king took my hand in his for the second time, as he helped me to my feet, and bowed his head to me, I realized that perhaps, in as simple thing as a kiss, I had won his approval, and perhaps along with it, whether or not I had intended, a piece of his heart….

_**To Be Continued…**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello again! First off, thank you very, very much to everyone who reviewed! So sweet! ****SilverKleptoFox, Lin, VoodooPriestess, DemonUntilDeath. I hope your questions will be answered in the future chapters and I hope everyone who has read or is new to the story will enjoy the new additions! Thanks :)**

**Also! A quick note to Fai's language (SPOILERS!!): I have this "theory" that Clamp was totally inspired by Fullmetal Alchemist, hence the metal arm, wishes having equivalent prices, and the fact that a lot of what Fai does is motivated by his deep guilt for his brother's fate (he even grows a pony tail!). So, maybe, if I'm anywhere close to right, they used the language from the song "Bratya" instead of the language of Germany, where I think the anime, at least, is set, and hence, that would be Russian. This seems true in the manga, and although the US anime used French, which I **_**love**_**, but I just don't think is what Clamp had in mind…sigh… Wow this is a really long explanation…sorry…In short, what Fai speaks is Russian, or at least my narly interpretation and one summer course of Russian…. Thanks :)**

**Chapter 4**

At least I had won the king's regard. I think, however, somehow, I had lost Kuro-sama's…at least, that's what I thought the next day.

The camp hadn't yet risen. It was that early. The sun hadn't yet risen. It was really, _that_ early and yet, I had risen…and so had Kuro-tan. Truth be told, Kuro-sama had woken before me. Truth be told, I didn't really want to wake up yet, I was having a wonderful dream…for once a _dream_ and not a nightmare of the man who shared Yasha-ou's face, only to be abruptly shaken, barked at, and when I opened my eyes, there was Kuro-tan and there was Kuro-tan's sword waiting, hovering at my throat.

"_Dobre Utro_…" I said, smiling and ducking as Kuro-tan took a swipe at where I had been moments before. I gave him a perfect pantomime of confusion, which I'm sorry to say, he didn't seem to appreciate, even more than usual. Instead, he reached out, grabbed my hand and inserted the sword. I looked at it dully, then gingerly, two-fingered, I handed it back.

It was Kuro-tan's turn to pantomime, and you know, he actually is pretty good at it. Perhaps it is a hidden talent? He pointed at me, then the sword, made a motion of fighting, then pointed out the door of the camp. Ah, he wanted to practice swords in order to prepare for inevitable battle. However, it wasn't so much I didn't _want_ to practice (I suppose it made sense, there were, so far as I had seen, no darts in this world to use for weapons-shame that), but I didn't think it would make an armpit of difference. So, instead, I searched my mind as to how to act out "that thing is too heavy", and "have I ever needed a sword before, Kuro-tan" and as the silence prolonged, I started to wonder how to pantomime, "My, your cheeks flush a beautiful shade of red when you're really angry".

Perhaps, in that way he had, Kuro-tan had known all three thoughts without me saying a word, for with a particularly commanding bark, he closed in on me, backing me into a nearby corner of our rather small tent. The sword was bright and shone next to his eyes…next to his eyes…

Reaching past the sword, I laid my hand on Kuro-tan's cheek and my other hand on his arm to stop him from pulling away. I brushed my hand against his eyes, first the left, then the right as if that would somehow change what I saw. "_Chernota_." I whispered, studying his eyes. For a moment, that dispassionate face studied me in turn before he pushed me carefully away and touched my eyes in turn.

This time, I did not have to pantomime confusion.

Kuro-tan tried again, touching my eyes, then touching his own. I shook my head and he frowned before trying again. Three times this was repeated before with a growl, he rose, grabbed his sword and turned it belly-up so I could see myself reflected.

"Oh…" I said and the one mirrored, the one with the eyes black as Yasha's, black as Kuro-sama echoed the sentiment.

But I guess Kuro-tan had had enough pantomime for the morning because when I tried to say "what does it mean?", "why did it happen?", with a series of shrugs, head turns and chin-scratches, Kuro-sama's growl turned into a grimace and instead of answering, he offered me the sword and pointed out the tent.

I refused, of course, and of course, Kuro-tan would have nothing of it.

Snarling and barking, the dog chased the cat from the tent, into the early, early morning. Kuro-rin was serious. These were no playful, pseudo-death swipes he took at my backside. If I slowed he would face me seriously, force me to fight.

I suppose, really, this was the best way that Kuro-sama had to say he cared. After all, I might not want to fight, to kill, but last night we had both swore service to a king at war. Death and darkness were as close as the moon had appeared last night. Even so, it was a long run through the camp, but the whole while, I could still feel the rough texture of his hand on my cheek and at the same time, against my lips, the texture of Yasha-ou's soft hand…

Yes, sometimes, I truly surprise myself.

**Dobre Utro: Good Morning**

**Chernota: Black**

_**To Be Continued…**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Kuro-tan and I had actually gathered a crowd by breakfast. I suspect we might have even become the center of a lucrative gamble, for hands pointed at us as gold coins were collected into a growing stack. It was an interesting gamble, one I myself had no true idea who would win. Kuro-sama and I were, despite appearances, quite evenly matched. And perhaps, if I truly wanted, I might prove to have a slightly stronger hand to play, as I did have the advantage of considerable magic, more than Kuro-tan realized, but I simply did not _want_…

As we continued, I really got into it, just a bit, showing off, just a little, as the race of endurance continued. I threw in a summersault and for that nearly had the end of my nose lobbed off my Kuro-woof's sword, oh, but it was worth the applause!

And it seemed, as it turned out, to be one additional benefit refusing to practice this morning. Our race made a decent circle of the inner camp and each time we looped, I got a good chance to study, just as I am sure Kuro-woof studied, the layout of tents, the placement of what must be armories, mess-halls, officer's quarters, practice grounds and of course, it gave additional grounds to measure just how many men were in camp. If the sight of endless tents under the morning sun wasn't indicative, I could feel them, thousands of soldiers more than I had estimated the night before, all waking, eating, fighting. I did not know the meaning for this war. I could not see even at the top slope of a decently high hill, an encampment that could belong to the enemy camp. Where were they? Who were they? Why did they fight?

I also got a better look at the other men in the camp, some who came near out of curiosity or accident. All of them, every single one, looked at me with the same black eyes: unity of purpose, unity of darkness…

Without meaning to, I slowed, just a hair. I was thinking not of Ashura, or Yasha, not this time, but of Sakura, Shaoran, Mokona…If we had ended up here, did that mean that they had ended up in the enemies' camp? Did that mean…

Kuro-tan's sword was suddenly there, and by some happy chance, the only thing cut off was my thought. I grinned at him, and saw annoyance there. I hadn't even broken a sweat and yet, there he was, breath coming a little faster than before, face flushed… and… I felt a little guilty at that…

I raised an eyebrow and he raised his sword, but we never got to see what would have happened next for abruptly, as we turned again into the round of our race parallel to the practice fields, I stopped in my tracks and Kuro-tan tumbled, off-balance, pulling the sword back just before it would have skewered me…

Most of the practice grounds had been occupied most of the time of our "run", but the one area not yet occupied, probably due to the need for the sun to have risen in order to see the targets, was the archery field. It _was_ occupied now by one man dressed in black, carrying a long black bow, sharp black arrows and when he turned to me, I saw his black eyes.

Yasha-ou….

Kuro-puu saw him too and I swore something crossed his face, a strange expression, but it was gone as soon as I had seen it. With what I took for a sigh, Kuro-sama had pulled himself from the ground, sheathed his sword, and approaching the king, bowed deeply. They spoke briefly, and I suspect about me, for Kuro-tan gestured at his sword and the king threw back his head and laughed.

At the sound, my heart sped up.

Kuro-sama barked at me again and gestured and I made my way, face carefully all a-smile. The king smiled at me, bowed and I bowed in return. He spoke to me, but I shook my head and Kuro-tan said something that made the king nod thoughtfully and his eyes shifted to me.

Without turning to him, he spoke to Kuro-tan and with a surprised look, a cautious bow, Kuro-rin handed his sword to the king. I watched this wearily, imaging a second sprint around the camp, this time with the king at my tail, waving the sword aloft and perhaps Kuro-puu joining the other soldiers with an all-too-karma-happy grin, slapping down a gold coin…

"Fai." The king said, pulling me from what had become a rather elaborate daydream. I blinked at him. In one hand, he held up the sword, in the other, the long black bow and as he approached me, I couldn't help instinct: I took a step back. At that, he stopped, smiled, and instead of approach, he offered each in time to me: first the sword, then the bow.

In his right hand, Sohi gleamed in the sunlight. In his left, the bow shimmered darkly, defiant to the light. I studied each, then, with a helpless shrug, a grin, I chose neither because I did not know what to do with either and although I am a fast learner, I did not want to learn.

And so it was chosen for me.

Handing Kuro-tan back his blade, Yasha-ou held out his now emptied hand to me and I took it a little too fast, I think, and I pulled my grin tighter hoping to hide any trace of what I was feeling. What _was_ I feeling? I wonder…but for certain, I _could_ feel Kuro-puu watching, but I did not turn to him and so I did not see his expression…

The king guided me to stand a few yards in front of a target. He did not try to ask if I knew how to hold a bow. He did not try to ask if I knew how to fit an arrow. Instead, he stepped close behind me so I felt him, a warm presence at me back. He took my hands, one at a time and with his hands guided them to the places they needed to be, fitted an arrow and through all these motions, I moved in perfect concert with him. It was irony he looked so much like my king. I knew him without knowing him, having lived a lifetime with another whom I could move as I moved now, in sync as a dancer…or a mindless puppet. I had lived a lifetime with my king, but, as it had turned out, I had not truly known him at all…

I tensed without meaning to and Yasha-ou, unlike Kuro-tan, did not know my thoughts and I heard him cooing in my ear, words meaningless to me, but despite myself had their effect. I closed my eyes, listen to the deep bass voice tremble in my ear and felt my body relax. I opened my eyes and Yasha stepped away from me with a smile.

My eye focused at the target down the field and as I would with my magic, I felt that calm inside me, that focus that put my entire body into harmony, unity, made of it an instrument of will and purpose…and I fired.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I spent the rest of the day at the archery field. There is a marvelous release in total focus-everything else goes away, in the same way the world departs when a dream comes… I did not see Yasha-ou leave, but when I felt a hand stop me from positioning my next arrow, I saw that although the king was gone, Kuro-puu was there. He made a vague gesture and as if in reply, I felt my stomach growl and so I smiled, nodded, wiped the sweat from my brow and set my bow aside. It was then something occurred to me and I turned, a little too quickly I think, as if startled and Kuro-tan scowled at me.

Of course, I smiled at Kuro-tan. In truth, I was trying to keep the questions off my face. Why wasn't he sweating? Why didn't he seem tired after a day of the sword-practice he had seemed so eager to begin this morning? It was only when he turned away that I ventured an answer: although Yasha had left, Kuro-puu had remained the entire day, with me, by my side.

Did that mean anything? I watched Kuro-tan's back as we walked and answered my second question with a vehemence that surprised me: Even if it did mean anything, I would not allow it to mean anything because if I did, it would turn out like before, I would be the cause of…

My stomach growled again and I cut the thought off and sighed.

What was I thinking? And so strongly, too? Really, I don't think there was anything to worry about in that arena. I was just thinking too much of Ashura-ou lately.

I was just hungry.

At least we were welcomed by the soldiers sitting, eating at what must have been a mess-hall. We were gestured to a seat immediately, questions heaped at us, but although Kuro-puu answered, as we sat and ate, more questions were directed at me personally and expectant stares waited and waited for an answer I simply had no way of giving. At one point, I sighed, I think a little revived from the food and finally taking pity on all the anticipation in the air, I gestured, touched my throat, shrugged.

Immediately, there were gasps of sympathy from all around.

I blinked, Kuro-puu paused in the middle of chasing the last of his meal around his plate with a pair of chopsticks. He looked at me, I shrugged, but someone was saying something, gesturing at his own throat and looking so forlorn that I understood.

Hiding a grin, I gestured widely to get their attention, then, using all my Powers of Pantomime, laid out the whole story. They seemed to believe that I had no voice, I didn't _intentionally_ lie to them about that and it was too delicious of an opportunity to pass up, what, with Kuro-puu acting a little strange since we've arrived: so very protective…

So why not tell a little story, not a lie, a _story_, on how Kuro-puu had protected me, saved me, but he could not save my voice from a villainous tyrant who lived in a castle in the sky…

Well, at least I started the story, but I must say, it is bad form to chase the story-teller with a pair of chopsticks all the way out of the mess hall and all the way around the camp 5 times…after all, what harm could a story do…really?

_**To Be Continued…**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Answer: it will keep me up the rest of the night.

Why?

Well, after Kuro-tan stopped chasing me, after we had been summoned by a patient messenger (who had waited 4 laps for us to notice his waving) to come receive our uniforms, after the sun, massive and fiery, had set and we had returned to our tent, we had to talk. Yes, talk.

Or, to be more precise, _draw_.

Perhaps this was the reason Kuro-tan had stayed so close. He wanted to share the information he had gathered since we'd arrived (one) and more so, to ensure our stories collaborated should any suspicions rise (two). I suppose we _could_ have worked out a pantomime for everything, or come up with a sign-language. I suppose I could have used magic and that would have solved the language barrier right there, but I did not. So, instead, we found two sturdy sticks and by the light of the fire we had lit in front of our tent, drew pictograms that, more-or-less, communicated what we wanted to say.

Or more than what Kuro-puu had in mind, I think.

For, of course, for "Fai" and "Kuro-puu" and "Sakura", "Shaoran" and "Mokona", I used the caricatures I had created in Oto. Kuro-rin tried to stamp those out at first, but patient as patience itself, I carefully redrew my little masterpieces until he let them be with a grumbling acquiescence. And when he finally realized that using these as shorthand was far more comprehendible than his scrawling stick-figures and started to begrudgingly use them himself, I used every trick and grace I possessed to keep my expression free of the gut bursting laughter that came every time he used "Big Puppy" to mean himself… Oh, I was _very_ proud of myself then…

For Yasha-ou, I used a snow-flake and Kuro-tan, once he realized it was indeed the king's symbol, looked at me, waiting for explanation. I gave none. We moved on.

We "spoke" of quite a bit, our system working itself out fairly quickly. It seemed we were both wondering about the children, Mokona, and when I suggested they might be in the enemy camp, Kuro-tan stared at the pictogram for such a long time, that I began to erase it, to try again, but Kuro-sama stopped my arm, stared at me and wrote the equivalent of:"Big Cat + Arrow + Good + ?"

I raised an eye brow, shrugged, but his hand was still on my arm and he was staring at me with his black eyes in a way that got under my skin. My grin wilted, just a little, and I tried to pull back with a laugh, but his grip tighten and he shook me, pointed at the unanswered question.

In reply, I didn't bother writing, I stared at him, studying him, and confused, shook my head.

For this, I was given a quick series of images: the Oto oni with a cat jumping between them. Kuro-rin pointed at this, then to me before drawing a picture of the outcome of one of my battles with the oni. I had had no weapons, the darts turned out to be powerless against them, and so I had had tried to dodge my way around them. If Kuro-puu hadn't been there, I might have died. Puzzled, I watched Kuro-tan point to the picture of a cat with a hurt leg, then to me and shake his head.

Then one more time, he turned to his drawings, and when he was done, I blinked at it, then him. His black eyes watched me and I wished I knew what was going on behind them as he always seemed to know what was in my head. The images said: "Fight, or die".

Fight? But we had only arrived and there didn't seem to be any preparations for a march and from what I had seen the enemy was not near-by. Perhaps, Kuro-tan was a little more paranoid than I had thought... I pointed at the character "fight" and shook my head. Lips curling back from his sharp teeth, Kuro-tan looked away into the distance of the camp, then up and I followed his line of sight.

Above us was the moon I had seen the night we had arrived. It was huge, and too close, and it was nestled in the blackness and the stars.

And it was almost full.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello again - here's another update! Sorry it took a little while - but thank you very much for everyone who reviewed (Katie666, SilverKleptoFox, and DemonUntilDeath)! Hope you guys enjoy the next installment - it's a little short, but I promise, the plot is thickening :) Enjoy!**

**Chapter 8**

The next day, we joined the battle. We fought beside Yasha-ou. We fought for our lives.

But not at first. Nasty battles like that belong in the darkness, and the night, especially considering how my first battle without magic ended…

But I don't want to talk about that. Not yet. Instead, I'll tell you that the next day started so well. Kuro-tan chased me from the tent again before dawn, but this time it was to the archery field and I practiced at sword-point. Perhaps that doesn't sound like a good morning, but it was! Kuro-puu could have made a great teacher in another world, another life. Sure he barked whenever I missed. He barked so much so that the other soldiers came running at one point, thinking there was some danger or world-ending threat, and Kuro-puu had to set things straight…but when I _did_ hit bulls-eye, just from time to time, understand – Kuro-tan _smiled_.

Alright, he looked like a well-satisfied dragon rather than a proud teacher, but it was still a rare treat!

And then there was the bath…

The bath was very nice, albeit a little crowded…

Not by all the soldiers – they were still practicing, I'll assume without making guesses about their hygiene-habits. At first, at least, it was only me and Kuro-puu. There was a small spring on the edge of camp, surrounded by trees. I can't remember the last time I had taken such a bath – it was so hot, and the steam rose from the surface of the water and I watched it rising, rising, gone. I think I looked like I was enjoying things a little too much, being a little too relaxed, for when I looked up, Kuro-sama was suddenly there, leaning over me.

At the look he gave me I did the only thing I could.

I blinked.

He _had_ been looking a little stressed when we got into the bath. Perhaps I should have offered to massage his shoulders a bit?

Oh well, it was too late for that because even before I had finished my thought, Kuro-tan had grabbed my wrist, pulled me to the shore and wrote with a dripping hand into the dirt, "Tonight we fight." I nodded at this. "Will you fight?" I smiled, laughed, shrugged and I knew that was a mistake, but why Kuro-tan would imagine I would change this opinion in the span of a night and a morning, I had no idea…

He grabbed me, pulled me close. He was furious – truly furious and I had no idea why. Was he that worried I was going to die? Or maybe there something he hadn't told me? There _must_ have been something, why else would be look like that, so, well, worried about…me.

Inwardly, I sighed and made a decision. It wasn't a lot of magic, I reasoned, and I think an actual conversation in words would sort things out quickly. All the while I thought, Kuro-rin raged but when I touched his lips – first the top, then slowly ringed my way to the bottom, he froze. He _absolutely_ froze, his eyes widened as I leaned forward, the spell casting silently, wordlessly, all around us. His body was rigid, his hand still on my arm and when the spell caught, the way a candle suddenly catches a flame, he gasped…

And that's when Yasha-ou arrived.

Immediately, Kuro-tan pulled away and so broke the spell, but not before I heard, distinctly, amid laughter, the king say, "Have I perhaps come at a bad time?"

Kuro-tan's reply, unfortunately, was lost. I would have loved to have heard it. I was curious. He was actually flustered, just for a moment, until he pulled his familiar brooding expression back on. Perhaps I was imagining it. I _must_ have been imagining it. The springs were hot after all, and so of course he'd looked flushed, right?

He _couldn't_ have thought I was…

"Fai." The king said and I turned to him.

The king was fully dressed, and alone. He held a quiver of arrows and a bow. I know very little about bows, but I could tell this one was very good. The wood was dark, carefully carved, taunt, beautiful. Slung across his shoulders, it was as if he carried a crescent moon...

He gestured to me and I moved towards him as he knelt on the shore, removed the bow, laid it down. Feather-tipped arrows rolled, making quiet sounds, as the king settled the quiver beside the bow.

Smiling, I pointed first to myself, then to the arrows, back and forth, back and forth. They were obviously a present and I wanted to make my delight as obvious as I could. The king smiled at my swoons, then with a small change in expression, a nothing, little change that made me pause, he gestured me to come closer.

I hesitated, just a little nothing of a hesitation, then obeyed, but not before listening for Kuro-tan. He was behind me. I heard the sound of him deliberately ignoring my conversation with Yasha-ou, but I knew Kuro-tan. He was watching and that thought comforted me.

Smiling, I pulled close and the king reached out and in a rather parental way, a fatherly way, he brushed the wet hair from my forehead, his gentle eyes locked on mine. Then his hand moved lower and he touched the base of my throat with his long fingers, leaned forward.

"I am sorry to hear you have lost your voice, Fai." He said and surprised by the very spell I had just been casting being cast on me, I almost broke contact, but he stilled me with a hand on my cheek, and a smile, such a gentle, kind smile. "Be careful tonight." The hand moved and the king stood. The spell was breaking apart, but not before he spoke a final time. I peered up the differences of our heights as he said in his deep voice, or perhaps he commanded… "Do not die."

_**To Be Continued…**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

But really, without knowing how things would turn out I could have guessed _that_, couldn't I? _I_ had nothing to worry about. I can't die, after all, not yet, but that doesn't mean that the ones always by my side are afforded such consideration, such luck…

Such misfortune.

Night fell by inches: The sky darkened. The soldiers gathered. Shields were raised. Swords rose. Cries of battle-lust filled the air. The wind filled the air. The stars filled the air…and the moon.

Then Yasha-ou appeared.

On the same mount that both Kuro-sama and I had been given, he strode before his men. He seemed changed. Gone was the gentle smile, the gentle eyes. Here was a warrior king speaking to his men with words and with eyes that matched their own, with a purpose that matched their own.

And there I sat on my creature, thinking that I understood the purpose: don't die, fight, but truly, I did not understand it. Not at all.

It wasn't my "thing", you see.

And surprisingly, it didn't seem Kuro-tan was much in the mood for glory that night. After the baths, he had left and I hadn't seen him until the call sounded and we all gathered here beneath the moon. I hadn't been able to tell him about the words of the king, or more so, that the king had used magic. I hadn't noticed before that he possessed any such power and I couldn't say if perhaps I simply had been…well…for lack of a better word: preoccupied.

Just as Kuro-sama was now.

I tapped him on the shoulder, smiled, and for my effort got The Look of Ice back.

Then, something happened.

The world began to tear around us. I stared, glancing back to Kuro-tan. At least this seemed to surprise him. No one else reacted with so much as a batted eyelash. It was the same sensation that came over me when I transported to another world – or Mokona transported us. That stretching of self, the dragging of the soul from one plane to another, the moment of extreme heaviness as if every atom was made of iron, then complete freedom from flesh…

Then back to being Fai again.

Odd sensation, that, if you ever have a chance to try it. It was made even more odd by the fact that when I returned to myself, we were not only in a new place, but there was an army before us. Not only an army, but directly before me was a beautiful man who smiled emptily at me as the night moved his dark hair like clouds before the moon. Then, he turned from me and I saw him meet Yasha-ou's eyes and saw between them a look exchanged and heard from all around me, just before the screams of battle, the screams of swords, the whisper of this person's name: Ashura.

Ashura-ou.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Yes, it's true, there was a battle all around me.

Yes, it's true, it was so close that I could feel the displacement of air as swords arced right beside my face.

Yes, it's true it was so close that I felt the hot splatter of blood, tasted it when I opened my mouth in shock, recoiling from it.

Yes, it's true that Kuro-sama actually called my name for the first time to get my attention to reality, but it was just…it really was exactly like a dream.

As soon as the battle had commenced, Yasha-ou had rode hard into the middle of the commencing milieu, but not for Ashura-ou. The same was true of Ashura-ou, riding hard to some other opponent rather than straight to the opposing general. Why? It didn't make sense. Destroy the leader, destroy the army – that is obvious and not even necessarily a military strategy, so why avoid each other, fight another battle instead of the most important one?

Ah, I knew that answer. I knew it well. It was the very reason I had decided to jump worlds.

Meeting Yasha-ou who shared the face, the soul of my king had been enough of a shock, but I think meeting the man who shared _my_ soul in this dimension had simply knocked the sense out of me because if he shared my soul, I wondered if he shared my destiny and I did not want to see that… I did not want to see…

"Fai!" Kuro-rin roared and I turned in time to see his sword slice a man's sword-hand off. The sword and hand fell squirming at the feet of the beast on which I rode. Pointing at my arrows, my bow, Kuro-tan barked something and I don't think even if we still were able to understand the same language I would have understood him.

I stared hopelessly out on the battle, trying to find Ashura, trying to find Yasha, trying to see, like an audience to my own life, what would happen to them, to us…

"Fai!" I heard, then, "_Teme_…!" And then Kuro-mi was there again, and again, and again as men approached like a wave and Kuro-tan fought them before they could reach me. Shaking my head, trying to throw off my confusion, calling back my control, clamping down tight on it since I think at that moment it was more a matter of gaining my sanity back, I fit an arrow into my bow with shaking hands and fired.

Where did it go?

I don't know.

Where was I going?

For once, I truly wished I didn't know.

Through it all, Kuro-tan was there, like he was always there, fighting close beside me. I heard him cry out, just once, but by the time I turned to him, he was grunting, hacking. The man fell, gasping, from his horse and I wondered why he hadn't killed him. I wondered how long we had been fighting, and how long we would continue. To help me answer at least one of those questions, I gazed up to see the position of the moon, nearly at its zenith and suddenly, perhaps a little madly, laughed aloud.

For, there in the sky, like a dark stain against the moon, was a floating castle and I _must_ have been mad to feel of all things at that moment, _homesick_.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I remember, some days better than others, one particular time in Celes when I had been bent over some magic book in the library all day and had looked up to see Ashura-ou. His eyes were gentle, gentle and he had smiled at me, laid a warm hand on my shoulder, "Come." He had said.

"But…" I replied, finger stilled poised over a word. "I don't understand this part yet…" Ashura-ou hadn't argued, he had stood back, gestured.

"Come." He said.

I pouted wistfully, but this was a time long ago when there was nothing I would not do for my king. I closed the book.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we passed guards who bowed to both of us, the king and the king's wizard, the king's adopted son. "Why are we leaving the castle?" The reply, of course, was no reply, but another smile, a knowing smile. It didn't matter, I followed and followed because there was nothing else I'd rather do.

At last, we came to a place at the edge of the castle's land. I used to be terrified of it, you know, the idea that I might fall from the edge of this floating castle like He had fallen from the tower... I used to dream, just when I had first been brought here by my rescuer that this place was MY tower… Then I would wake from my dream and Ashura-ou, a book opened in his hands, was sitting, dozing softly by the side of my bed… Those days, he had always been there when I woke from my dreams…

The nightmares went away, but things like that have a way of being remembered… such as, at this particular moment. That's what I was thinking, staring off the edge of the world I now called "home".

But then, the moon rose.

Huge, benevolent, round-faced and silent between the stars, the moon, full and ripe, rose before us. I stared at it, and I think my mouth was opened and my eyes a little too wide, for I was suddenly brought back to myself by Ashura-ou. "Do you still wish you had stayed to understand the spell?"

"No…" I said, then turned back to the sight of the night and the light burning so softly overhead.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" I paused, tried to find my words. Back then I was slower to find words, I picked through them, and I had not yet found the way to use them to evade the rocks and crags of truth. I did not have a reason to do so. Not yet. "It's just, I've been here for so long now, Ashura-ou… Why… that is… I just wonder…"

Ashura-ou nodded. He stood by my side and now he found my words for me. "You wonder why you have never seen this sight before?"

"Yes." I said, turning back so my eyes were filled by moonlight of a moon so close, had I reached out I just might have touched it.

It was Ashura-ou's turn to take time to find his words. I didn't even realize he was thinking about them, to be honest. It was only when he had knelt before me, reached out and hugged me close that I realized that all that time he had been considering my question. "Ashura…?" I began.

But my king, my adopted father, my rescuer and the man, even then I loved more than anything in the world, was whispering into my ear in such a quiet, sad voice that I didn't dare breathe that I might miss what he said, "You used to fear this place – do you remember that? And because of that, you never came here to see what was truly here. You did not look so you did not have to fear what was there all along…but…" I felt his grip tighten around my shoulders and my hands raised, holding onto his back, brushing his soft hair, feeling him tremble and feeling at this strange emotion, my own fear. "Sometimes, Fai, it is better to fear, but to look, to _**see**_, than to close your eyes until it is too late."

"I don't understand."

"I know Fai." The king had whispered so quietly I barely heard him. "I know."

_**To Be Continued…**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

That morning, after we had returned to the moon castle, returned to our tent, I did not sleep. Kuro-tan did not, either. Instead, he stripped off his soiled uniform, stuck to his skin with blood, and dirty, stinking of slaughter and battle, he laid silently beneath our blankets, his back turned to me.

There were a handful of times I glanced at his back, moving heavily with his breath, muscles running from shoulder to shoulder and down his spine, and reached out to touch him, to cast the spell and actually speak to him…but I did not.

I watched him breathe and did not think on how unusually hard he was breathing... My mind was worlds away…

Instead, I stood and left the tent, walked through the camp. There were men still moving. I heard the sound of celebration from here. The sound of a young man weeping there. The sounds of silence otherwise.

I heard something behind me and startled, spun around. No one was there.

I think I was expecting Ashura-ou.

I think I was expecting Him.

I think I was too tired and worn and should have been back at our tent, beneath the blankets, watching Kuro-sama's back move and falling asleep by its movements…Like the sea…

But instead, I was moving, walking, pushing my way through the small forest that sprung at the edge of camp. I passed the hot springs Kuro-tan and I had bathed in this morning and where Yasha-ou had presented me my bow and arrows. Those were back at the tent. The quiver was empty.

I moved on, on, on, mindlessly, thoughtlessly, absorbed in not thinking, in simply setting the foot in front of the foot, in front of the foot…total focus.

At last I arrived to my destination.

This was another version of Celes, so of course this would be here, the edge of this floating world. There was no moon this time, as in my childhood memory. Instead, morning was filling the sky like water fills a cup. Low clouds, blood-colored, and bruised colored, and orange like a touch of madness, now rose from the lowest horizon, but I knew it would rise up, up, like steam from water, slowly, slowly, until _another_ day filled the air.

One foot in front of the other, I concentrated, in front of the other, in front of the other until I stood on the edge, the very edge of the world. My toes teased the empty air over which they hovered and I looked down and concentrated on thinking about nothing.

But, one thought did come, nevertheless.

_I wonder_, it went, _what did Fai see when he took a final gaze down his own tower…?_

I stared down, down, down as the day filled up, up the sky. My eyes were wide, unblinking, burning with the need to close, but I wouldn't let them. I was trying to see, to _**finally**_ see what it was that I was doing here. _What was I doing here?_

_There is only the inevitable…_

Then what was I trying to prove?

I _was_ in a tower, no matter how you looked at it, trapped by inevitability on one hand, trapped by the curses, trapped by promises, trapped by hate…and by love. Perhaps there was truly only one way to escape the tower, I thought, just like that time long ago…

And over the edge of the world, I looked down.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Kuro-sama came for me.

He found me that afternoon. I heard him coming, and I smiled at him as he emerged from the trees.

He paused, staring, his black eyes, shinning strangely bright, widened.

"Kuro-sama." I said, my voice horse. "_Dobre Denya_."

Slowly, he approached me, gazing down at me and I grinned up at him. He was still breathing a little hard and I would have thought he had been running through the camp, or fresh from practice if his skin wasn't so pale…

Neither of us moved for the longest time. I sat there, staring up at him, and he stood, staring down upon me. There was the strangest look on his face! It was this that broke our stalemate, for at last I couldn't help it, I laughed and the sound seemed to jar Kuro-tan to life.

He didn't growl. He didn't bark.

Gently, he knelt beside me, took my wrist and pulled me to my feet. What else could I do? It seemed the thing I always did. I followed him as he pulled me, laughing quietly, a bit madly, to the spring.

There, he sat me down, removed his shirt and I as I watched the muscles of his back move, he knelt, dipped the cloth in the spring and turn to me. "Oi." He said, but he did not bark. He did not growl.

Instead, he pressed the warm shirt to my cheek, first one, then the other, washing my face of dirt, and grime, and tears. It was my turn to pause at this behavior. I stared at him, wide eyed and he stared passionlessly back. It was I who looked away first and subdued, feeling suddenly guilty, I kept my eyes down as Kuro-tan slowly cleaned my face, my throat, my arms, my hands…

And strangely, what I thought at the end, when Kuro-rin had ringed his shirt and put it back on, stood and with an, "Oi," bid me follow him back to camp, was a fragment of an old, half-forgotten memory.

"I don't understand" I had said the night I had seen the moon rise in the place I had once feared and Ashura-ou had answered, "I know, Fai. I know."

**Dobre Denya: Good Afternoon**

_**To Be Continued…**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

And so a day went by.

Kuro-sama brought me to eat, although he did not eat, then brought me to the archery field, although this time he did not bark at me when I missed. I glanced at him self-consciously, wondered if this was because of what had happened in the forest, but I was wrong. I simply would not realize this until night fell.

As I practiced, some of the younger soldiers (and a handful of battle-hearty veterans), approached Kuro-tan with questions and he nodded quietly, almost listlessly as he took their offered swords and showed them a better way to use it. He was an overnight sensation while I, on the other hand, was now barely looked upon and when I was, it was either in pity…or disgust.

My string snapped by late-afternoon and Kuro-pin repaired it for me without a word.

I blinked at him. His face was as white as my robe. I reached to touch his cheek, but before I could someone called to him and he turned away. Instead, I pulled an arrow, fit in into the bow Yasha-ou had given me.

And fired.

I had not seen the king at all today and for that I was only too glad.

That day, I did not hit the middle-mark. Not once.

Then night came.

Kuro-mi and I were laying beneath our blankets, backs turned to the other. I could hear him breathing. It was too loud. It was wrong. Turning over, I watched his naked back rise and fall, rise and fall. It was pale and the powerful muscles seemed tensed, strained, shaded an unhealthy purple... All that day he had said all of two words to me, he had barely looked at me and I had thought, because I tend to think that way, that it was because of what I had done, not only at the spring, but the battle. Now, however…

Reaching out, I touched his back and his breath came sharp at the contact. My eyes widened. His skin was icy to the touch.

"Kuro-tan?" I whispered, but he didn't answer. "Kuro-tan?"

I cast the spell without a second thought, touching his back, now his shoulder, now the flesh of his chest as I turned him so I was looking down upon him, maintaining contact to maintain the spell. I looked down upon him, the fierce, powerful warrior now suddenly weakly laying in my arms. His black eyes were opened, but half-rolled into his head. His mouth was opened, now grimacing, now slack, and his sharp teeth shone brightly even in the darkness.

But his skin…his skin was like ice.

"Kuro-tan! Kuro-tan!" I whispered, my hands on his face, my hands on his chest. And then I saw the reason Kuro-sama had been so quiet today, why he had been so quiet last night and I remembered, instantly, distinctly, the one time during the battle he had cried out, but by the time I had turned, he had already disarmed the one I had assumed had been his attacker…But there had been another. One I had not seen.

"Why didn't you say anything, you idiot!" And even though my magic had made it so we each could understand the others' language, I was still babbling, my hands moving across his belly, the cold muscles trembling now as I touched the small place where there was such a tiny, nothing of a wound, just barely bleeding, and from it, the sharp, wicked tip of a broken arrow.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	15. Chapter 15

**First off: Thank you everyone for reading and thank you DemonUntilDeath (I hope you enjoy this chapter as well…your chapter 10 review was really too nice), SilverKleptoFox (Fai will show his true colors…but not quite these chapters :****), katie666 (sorry! This one might be considered a cliff-hanger as well), and Inuyasha.SIT for your very, very kind reviews with the last update. **

**Also! I'm soooo sorry, DemonUntilDeath, SilverKleptoFox and katie666 that I didn't say "thanks" with the last update-you guys are so sweet to review, so I want to at least say "thank you" for that…sorry… :(**

**Furthermore: Inuyasha.SIT brought up a great point which I have to say: Oops! When I had the idea for this story, it was much creative spewage and I didn't re-read the Yama/Shura Arc as closely as I should have… Yes, the two armies do fight on the moon castle, transported there from their own locations…not as I have written here that they **_**live**_** there….te he he… I'm gonna have to blame that on the creative spewage…please ignore the mess :)**

**Chapter 15**

Beneath snow-white bandages, his blood shone bright.

Up went Kuro-tan's chest. Down.

I watched this movement as if it were new, as if it fascinated…but I suppose, at least the latter was true.

We were alone again. We were back in our tent again. Light from the campfires outside the tent played shadows against the walls. The tent was hot, it smelled of medicines and blood. Outside, the moon would have risen. The stars. The night.

It didn't really matter, though.

Down went his chest. Up.

It's funny, you know, how those single events change so much, so suddenly. It's happen quite often lately, you know. I should be used to it by now.

Up and down. I was breathing in time to him. I was breathing so he breathed…

That's ironic, though, isn't it?

After all, it was my fault, wasn't it? If I hadn't been so preoccupied…If I hadn't been there to start…

At that thought, my hand knotted into a fist…

At that thought, on the beat of breathe-out, Yasha-ou entered our tent.

I didn't turn to him. I breathed in and so did Kuro-rin.

"Fai." The king said and then, when I did not answer. "Fai."

I lowered my head, but I did not turn to him. Did he deserve blame? No. Was I blaming him anyway – well, yes. Did I care that this was completely unfair, unfounded, unhelpful?

_No_.

"Fai." He said and the stained bandages, the powerful chest that lifted now with such painful effort, moved up, then down.

I don't know what they said about Kuro-tan. I didn't know what was wrong with him, but I could guess. Sometimes I can be _amazingly_ clever, of course, but this wasn't such a case. I had stood, because I would not leave, as the surgeon pulled the iron tip from Kurogane's side. He held it up to the light so it glistened thickly, oily, iridescent, then lowered it so he could smell it, licked it with the tip of his pink tongue.

How _clever_ I am – I might not know where I am going, nor where I stand and I surely do not possess one whit of good luck to gamble with, but I'd gander that the sour look on the surgeon's face, the way he sighed and peered so sympathetically at Kuro-sama's pale face meant that the arrow point he held in his hand was not the real danger.

It was poisoned.

Oh, I could have told him that right off the bat. Wasn't it an irony that it was an arrow that struck him down?

No, because in this world, _especially_ this world, with the promise I had made Ashura-ou all those years ago, the reason I was saved by him, _I_ was the poison…

"Fai."

I could feel Yasha-ou at my back. He was warm, warm, warm and at the sound of his voice, I ground my teeth and my fisted hand rose. "_Tiho…pojaliyasta_." I said.

"Fai…"

I could feel the ghost of his hand hovering at the back of my head, just about to brush my hair. Something broke inside of me then…I swung away from him, breathing hard and finally turned, finally _looked_ at him…

His expression matched his voice exactly. Sad, so very sad and so very sad not for Kuro-tan, but…for me. He had come here to offer comfort and…

I wanted this from him.

I wanted his comfort. I wanted him to hold me as Ashura-ou had when I woke from my nightmares on my first nights in Celes. I wanted….

He approached me and I pulled back, glanced at Kuro-tan.

We breathed.

"Fai."

I shook my head, closed my eyes, opened them, and of course he was there when I opened there still because despite how everything seemed, this was not a dream. Which meant of course, that there were no easy fixes, no simple embrace to make the dark pass.

Even so, there had to be a way. Even so, I had to save him...

If I could have used magic, I would have at that moment, no matter what the cost…_**but **__**I **__**could **__**not**_.

Even so, I had to save him…even if, in the end, if everything was inevitable, even if it wouldn't really matter…

I glanced down suddenly, and saw my fist, pulled so tight into itself that it ached where my nails had pierced the skin and then I saw Yasha-ou's gentle hands as he took mine in his and softly brushed my skin, coaxing the fingers opened. Then, shaking his head at the red crescents I had pressed into my own flesh, he raised my hand to his mouth and kissed the wounds.

I felt my eyes widen and I stared at him and he said to me, lips still touching my skin, "There is a way to save him, Fai, so, please…Do not…" His hand gripped mine as I watched the mouth rise, pull close so it hovered above mine and I could feel it, hot and moist against mine, "You truly are just like him…even like this…"

Then the mouth pulled away, and Yasha-ou had pulled me into his arms, an embrace to comfort, but my mouth burned as much as my face.

I heard Kuro-tan breathe and at the last moment, I remembered to breathe out.

**-Tiho…pojaliyasta: **Be quiet, please

_**To Be Continued…**_


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"There is a way to save Kurogane." Yasha-ou said. We sat now beside Kuro-mi, our hands clasped.

I nodded. "How?"

"He will need the antidote." I raised an eyebrow, nodded patiently. "The antidote, however, is not an easy thing to acquire. In fact, it is held by the very person who creates the poisons for the Shura army…"

Again, I nodded, patient and patience… "Yes? Who is that?"

Yasha-ou did not meet my eyes. He glanced at Kuro-rin, then back at me and I think I knew _**exactly **_who it was at that very moment. Clever me, clever me… "The one who makes the poison, the one who possesses the antidote, a rare concoction for a uniquely deadly poison, is the leader of the Shura army."

My voice was sunk to a whisper. "Ashura-ou?"

And he answered, "Yes."

It was my turn to look away and I did so, ignoring the warmth of his hand, how it enveloped my smaller hand, how it connected us at this moment. Finally, I said it, "Why is it that Yama and Shura fight? What is the reason?" I kept my voice innocent, completely detached, but Yasha-ou smiled knowingly and he raised his free hand and touched my face.

"Do you truly wish to know?"

I searched his eyes, searched my own courage. "Yes." I breathed.

He nodded, sighed, "You would have understood soon enough, Fai. There is only the inevitable and I know you, too, are a part of that inevitability. As is Kurogane…but still, I would have liked it if I could have continued a little longer without you knowing…at least there would be a moment's escape from such a heavy destiny when I was with you…"

"Yasha-ou…" I said, struggling like a child to piece two words together and absolutely unable to do so.

He smiled gently and his dark eyes deep and said, "Although, I imagine, if you especially, Fai, had truly looked, you'd have seen it right away…" I shook my head, perhaps in denial, perhaps in self-depreciation at the fact that I hadn't even noticed he possessed any magic when we had arrived, and Yasha-ou leaned in so his eyes filled up my vision. "For now, however, if you truly want to know…Look."

I did _not_ truly want to know, but I swallowed my fear and peered into the blackness and the darkness of his eyes, deep and endless. Death.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

That morning, so early the sun had not yet risen, so early the camp had not yet risen, after Yasha-ou had left and sleep was finally calling to me, I took Kuro-tan's hand in my own. "I know you can't hear me," I said, "But if you could, then I probably wouldn't be saying this out loud." I laughed. "Although, knowing you, Kuro-sama, you'd know what I was going to say better than me, anyway." I broke off, smiling, staring at our clasped hands. His were as large as Yasha-ou's, but ironically, his were the cold and Yasha's were still so warm…

As for my own hands, they were still trembling from my earlier conversation with the king…

I laughed aloud again, but it sounded nervous and tinny. "In my opinion, you're much better suited to go than I am-you'd never let anything get in your way. That's just like brazen, bold Kuro-sama, scared of nothing, able to do anything-without magic. I hope you can teach me how you do that…

"That is…you _will_ teach me…one day…if I wanted to learn…that is…"

I sighed, grasped his hands tight in mine and leaning over them, like a prayer, whispered, "That is… What will Sakura, Shaoran and Mokona think if you let some tiny arrow kill you? Now a _dragon_… That is…" I sighed. "That is…you owe me nothing, and I'm selfish to ask it of you, but now, especially…" The memory came again, of the king's black eyes and I recoiled from it hunched over Kuro-tan's hands like they would save me. "That is…please don't leave me alone, Kurogane.

"Please."

_**To Be Continued…**_

**Author's Note: Sorry! This really isn't where I wanted to finish for today, but I work at the very crack of dawn, I'm afraid, so I will try to update a little later this week. Hope you enjoyed and hope you'll come back when I update! Thanks :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello again! Hope everyone's doing well. I present you: the next installment (cue intro music :) As always, please enjoy and as always, thanks to all who reviewed: katie666 :) , pitagora :), JayChanHamideh :), SilverKleptoFox (I'm glad you enjoyed the Russian stuff. I love languages-they rock, the roll, the sing :), and DemonUntilDeath (I hope you enjoy these chappies, too :) **

**Thanks everyone! Please enoy! :)**

**Chapter 18**

The next night, I dressed slowly: black on black on black. I put on my shoulder my quiver, my bow and after a moment's hesitation, I took hold of Sohi from where it had been laying upon Kuro-sama's soiled uniform. I glanced into the blade for a moment, saw my eyes reflected black and looked away.

Tying it onto my belt, I thought I would take this, not to use, exactly, since I did not know how to, not even for luck, merely because it was Kuro-tan's and he would miss tonight's battle…but his sword would be there, with me.

It was a strange thought and made sense at the time, but as I made my way into the moonlight, it only felt ominous….

I had visited Kuro-sama earlier that evening. Yasha-ou had brought him to his own tent, laid him on silken blankets and ordered a man to remain by his side. For this I was grateful, but although I had thanked him, bowing my head and smiling, I did not meet his eyes.

Nor did I that night when he stood in the shadow of moonlight and I felt him watching me approach and I felt his gaze upon me, but I could not look at him now…

I took my place at his side, nonetheless, as he had bade me do the morning before. "How will you get into Shura castle?" he had asked, his voice gentle, his hand on mine warm, his eyes on me, even if I would no longer looked at him.

My hands trembling, I had answered, staring at Kuro-tan's face, "I'm sure there are ways."

"It is the last night of the full moon…how will you return?"

My eyes lifted now and stared into the darkness beyond where we sat. "There are ways."

"Fai…" He had begun, his hand on my cheek, on my lips, but I did not turn to him…

Someone shouted and I was brought back to my present. All around me now, I felt the soldiers watching me and glanced up at them pleasantly, sociably, _amiably_, even. I could not blame them for the looks they returned. They had heard what had happened to Kuro-puu who had protected me during the battle two days ago, and they now feared for their king, so similarly afflicted with mysterious affection for the one who would not fight to save himself.

_That's right_, I thought to them silently through a smile, _I will not fight to save myself tonight…_

Against my hip, I felt Sohi's heavy weight.

At my side, I felt the king's eyes and I finally turned to him, finally met his gaze and after a long moment, I smiled at him. His expression was shrouded. I had no idea what he was thinking, but then, the king bowed his head to me with a gentle smile. I grinned hollowly back, took hold of the sheathed handle of Sohi at my side, and all around us, somewhere between the full, brilliant moon and the blackness of the earth, the world tore itself apart.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Like the previous battle, I came back to myself in another place and before us: the Shura-army. Or perhaps it wasn't so much an army as a _**roar**_. I didn't remember them being so loud the last time….hmmm… Then again, in my memory the whole of the last battle had contracted itself into tiny, enormous moments: Ashura-ou with his hair moving like the night, the moon castle overhead, and smaller and larger than any other moment: a single cry from Kuro-sama…

In my memory, somehow, it sounded like this, this roar…

I would waste no time. I pulled free the sword, held it in my hand like a ridiculous thing. It was more a prop than anything else and so I was raising it, at least for effect if not fear. Not fear for myself. I did not fear my own death, quite the contrary, but fear for Kuro-sama, if I failed...

Well, I _was_ raising the sword, but before I could do so, a hand stopped me. I turned and Yasha-ou was watching me. He twined his fingers in mine and said slowly, as if all we had were time, as if there was no such thing as time, had never been, "Fai…" I'm not sure what he wanted to say. I knew he regretted last night. I was sorry I had looked into his eyes as well. I did not wish to see that, and yet I had looked…why?

I'm not sure, but when I think of this decision, I see Celes at night, a full moon, a book half-read opened in front of me…and Ashura-ou. Perhaps I had hoped to solve two mysteries with a single blow?

I tried to smile at him and for once, I couldn't. Instead, I leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Please watch over Kuro-sama until I return."

"Will you?"

I nodded and he hesitated. "To Kurogane? To me?" I blinked. The way he said it was more than a matter of return… and so I gave the only answer I could call close to "honest": I felt my eyes close, and a smile, just like his best one, gentle, gentle, gentle…but before I could open my eyes again, I felt him, leaning forward, I felt him...

It was not a brush of lips.

His lips did not hover over my own.

It was a kiss from Ash…Yasha-ou and the fact that it came in the middle of a battle, on the very cusp of death and life…this made sense…for it was what defined _him_ as much as the taste, the feel, the warmth…

Then he pulled away, and he said before the spell broke apart on the last words, "You truly are alike… you two. And that is why I fear…"

I stared after him, shocked, disgusted, burning, and almost urged my creature towards him, I would have if it hadn't been for the weight of Sohi still grasped in my hand. I stared down at it, licked my lips clean, turned…

And rode into the battle.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Ashura-ou was not hard to find.

He moved like a god of war and fire. If nothing else, the flaming sword helped to spot him quite easily…

As did the screams of the ones he slaughtered.

And yet, although I followed him, not once did he turn to me. Not once did he notice me…It was a puzzle, one my mind, overworked as it was on thoughts of the men I might or might not care about living or dying, could not completely wrap around.

If it looked, smelled and sounded like a "trap", then was it?

If it were, why draw it out like this? After all, I _wanted_ to be captured, it was all part and parcel of the plan, you see.

Also, perhaps more puzzling, was the fact that not once had I been outright attacked. No one approached me. No arrow, no sword, no man, no beast…

Was it luck?

Of course not.

It was destiny.

Ashura-ou rode deeper into the battle, farther from where we had first appeared on this field. I had kept myself from looking back as I did not want to see Yasha-ou, I feared turning and seeing him staring back at me from a distance with a face as pale as the moon…

I rode after the path of fire I saw before me. I rode after the dark back of hair that moved like a wave in the night.

I rode after him, this other me.

I should have remembered how clever I can be, for it seemed, he too, possessed this singular quality. I just didn't realize this until the last moment, you see…

We had ridden so far from the field that there was no more field, merely silent, black mountains all around. I heard a sound behind me, and distracted, turned. When I looked back…he was no longer there.

Slowly, I urged my creature forward, my hand was cramped from holding Sohi so long and yet I did not let go. And this moment of complete discomfort saved my life.

Or perhaps it was Kuro-sama's doing, somehow, saving me even on his deathbed. That sounded exactly like something he would do…

There was a sudden shout and the next instant, someone had appeared, a weapon had flashed and although I had held the sword up fast enough and desperate enough, I had still fallen from my mount. There was a man before me, breathing hard, glaring. He was shouting something, but I just smiled right through it and held up the sword.

He did not seem to appreciate this.

He approached and the weapon struck again and again and I held up the sword and it seemed to know what it was doing far better than me. At least for a little while. However, when it had at last been parried away from my hands and my attacker glared down upon me and shouting, began to pull back his arm, I smiled at him.

He really did not appreciate that, either, for the shouting got louder and when I began to wave a finger as if I were, say, writing magical signs on the air he could not see… Well, I imagine he would have ruptured a lung then with all that noise he was already making if the spell I had cast hadn't sent him spiraling away, crashing into the side of a nearby hill in a neat little stack of limbs, weapon, and surprise.

Speaking of surprises…

I had just knelt to pick up Sohi when Ashura-ou reappeared. He had approached me and I hadn't heard him, I hadn't _seen_ him and now he reached out and with a single finger raised my chin so I met his eyes. He was beautiful, I had been right about that. Even at a distance, he could not hide that, but up close, there was something terrifying about him that delicate features and gentle smiles could not hide… He stared at me and his eyes were golden, his eyes were cat's eyes, inhuman as they gazed upon me. He was smiling, or perhaps he was glaring, even I couldn't tell, but I could feel the power in him right before the spell hit me. Then, as I tumbled down into a darkness the shade of Yasha-ou's eyes I heard him speak and the word was cold, or curious, or perhaps it was a happy laugh, "You." He said.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

And then, there were pillows.

Oh! They were very comfortable, very, very nice, and I woke, face-down, in them. They smelled familiar. They smelled like perfume, like the jasmine I had smelled in Oto, like the winter roses I had smelled in Spirit, like the smell of moonflowers in Celes…

I turned over and found myself in a room full of inlaid stones and hung with silks. From one end, there was an opened terrace that looked out onto the night…or I suppose it would be the morning by now… Large, frond leaves blew in the wind like waving hands.

But I was alone.

At least, I was pretty sure I was alone and more than that, a prisoner, that is, _maybe_ I was a prisoner… After all, someone had carefully place Sohi, sheathed, at my side. I ran a hand up the blade, then took it in hand. I was a little relieved. I wasn't alone with this sword…_his_ sword…

Standing, I found that I had been dressed in a long robe hung with golden bells that made soft sounds as I moved. Clasping the sword in hand, I made my way to the terrace and for the first time looked out upon the land of Shura. Perhaps I had once, at least, been a prince, but Ashura-ou was a king and this land I now stared wide-eyed upon was where Ashura-ou, the other me, reigned.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Somehow, I found myself asleep again and this time, dreaming.

Of course, it was no "somehow", not really, it was _magic_ and it was very powerful magic. I did not want to sleep, you see, I wanted to find Ashura-ou, I wanted to find the antidote and bring it to Kuro-tan before it was too late. I wanted to see Yasha-ou again-I think I did, at least... I wanted…

"What do you want?" A familiar voice said in this dream.

I laughed at that. "What do _you_ want, Ashura-ou?" I replied.

"I want to see what it is you want."

"Why?"

But there was no answer this time.

Instead, I was treated to a series of memories that happened to be no treat at all. My Ashura-ou, covered in blood as I cast the spell that would send him to the only place he could do no harm and I would not have to harm him: a dream…

I saw him asleep in his crystal casket as I had hesitated, "At least have good dreams." I had said because it was the only thing I could say to him at that moment, the only wish I could offer him that I believed could possibly be granted.

Then, I saw the children: Shaoran and Sakura and Mokona…and all around them were feathers. Shaoran and Sakura stood back to back, hands clasped and they cast shadows that were no shadows at all, but reflections that were and were not Sakura and Shaoran…

"Are they here?" I asked.

"Not yet." The voice replied.

"Yet?"

"I haven't decided."

"Decided what, exactly?"

If it was an answer, the answer came of Kuro-tan and this memory was the missing piece of the first battle: Kuro-tan fighting to protect me, raising his eyes to me and pausing. He had seen something on my face and in that instant, when his attention, for once, was not on fighting, I saw the arrow strike him, saw him grimace, try to pull the arrow from his side, but he had not been able…it had broken into his hand… And I saw myself at that moment, perfectly distracted, wistfully staring into the battle and I was surprised at the look on my face. There was only a half-smile, there was only a lifted eyebrow, but beneath it, what I had been truly feeling at that moment…

"You are good at hiding." Ashura-ou said.

"I'm sure you're good at it as well."

"And how would you know that?"

This time, it was my turn to say nothing.

The image changed, yet again, rippling like water disturbed and what coalesced this time was Yasha-ou. Or, to be more accurate: Yasha-ou and myself. Or to be less-beating-around-the-bush: Yasha-ou and myself with our mouths pressed together.

If there was a way to blush as nothing more than a bodiless dream-voice, than I believe I did it then. There was no one else in this dream, not visible at least, but I could feel Ashura-ou watching me then. I don't know what he saw. I don't know what he wanted to see.

"Is that all?" I asked. "There's something more important I need to ask you, if you're done being a voyeur to my memories."

"No. That is not all."

The images, all that I had seen so far and all the moments strung between them began to shuffle like a deck of cards, faster and faster in invisible hands only to suddenly come to a stand-still on single image of a tower and in that tower, I saw Fai.

And he was staring out at me…

"What is it you want?" Ashura-ou whispered and I could feel him near me, even if I couldn't see him.

I remained silent for a long time, staring at Fai, thinking of him, of Sakura, of Shaoran, Mokona, of my Ashura-ou and my forsaken worlds, of Yasha-ou and the press of his mouth, the depth of his dead eyes, and of Kurogane who might hate me, but he never left me alone and he had blushed when he thought I was about to kiss him in the springs that morning…

Finally, I smiled and laughed at the question itself, "If I tell you, will you wake us so I can ask you something- Kuro-sama is waiting."

"Of course."

I nodded, as much as I could, at least, and sighed. "What do I want..?" I paused and picked through my words as I have rarely done for a long time. I usually did what Yasha-ou and Ashura-ou did on the battlefield when it came to truth: ran the other way, so this was all very against the grain and as such it was a halting confession, a broken conversation about the broken soul he and I both possessed. The fact that I knew, instinctually, he would understand this, was the only reason I believe I could say it at all… After all, I had already made my wish to the Dimensional Witch, but what it was that I truly "wanted"... "What I want… is to feel what I felt when Fai was alive. I want to feel what I felt when we were formed together, when we were alive together, when he was by my side…and I was by his…"

"And what was that?"

My voice was a whisper and I can't imagine he heard it. It sounded like the darkness all around. "Whole."

_**To Be Continued…**_


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

When I woke, I was once again in the pillows, but face-up and I could still feel the ghost of a hand that had been pressed against my eyes. The sweet scent was stronger now and all around. Someone had pulled a blanket over me, but they hadn't tried to pull Sohi away and I still clutched the sheath and sword tightly to my side.

And that someone, his back turned to me, his hair moving in the wind and the sunlight, was sitting silently on the terrace, gazing down into a pool of water.

I almost set the sword down, it was a little childish to hold onto so, but if it was childish, then I did not mind being childish at all. Sohi came with me to the terrace where the smell that had been on the pillows wafted through the thin, gossamer curtains. At first I thought it was from a garden, but slowly, I realized that it was coming from Askura-ou himself.

Also, more slowly, I realized that Ashura-ou was not merely gazing into the pool of water. I realized that he was talking. His voice had possessed this same quality in our dream, but such a voice belonged in a dream, not here. When he spoke, his voice was like a song, up and down it lilted…

But the voice that answered his was not so…well…so _sweet_, let us say.

The Dimensional Witch spoke and Ashura-ou smiled, laughed, answered and I pulled back, wondering if I had been seen and if that mattered and if it didn't, then at least, what did it mean?

In short: _What? What? What?_

I saw Ashura-ou's eye, bright in the light, turn to me and he smiled, nodded and ended his conversation with the Witch. What they had said, I had no idea. He had said the children were not here and so Mokona was not here. I suppose dreams do have a language all their own and so we could speak easily there…

Smiling, Ashura-ou, head cocked said clearly, "Good morning."

And I suppose if you're willing to use the extra magic, one could speak easily here as well. That is, unless I was wrong and this still was a dream…Sometimes I imagine, it's just that hard to tell…

_**To Be Continued…**_


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

That night, there was no moon.

There was a new moon.

How the absence of something means the beginning of something, I did not understand…

That night, I returned to the moon castle. In one hand, I grasped the antidote Ashura-ou had given me, across my hips, Sohi hung, heavy, comfortable, across my shoulders the bow like a crescent moon. I suppose even when the moon is missing, there is something there to keep its place, if only for a little while until the real thing returns…

At the least, that would be nice, if it were true…and sad…

"I have made my decision." Ashura-ou had said earlier that same day. "I have made my wish to the Dimensional Witch."

We had sat out on the terrace and birds came and went, singing, and food was placed before us. Someone played an instrument and although it was very beautiful, I never did ask what the instrument was called…

I didn't meet his eyes. I had asked for the antidote earlier and he had not agreed right away. I was thinking what I would have to do if he did not give it to me. 'What decision is that?" I asked. "What wish?"

"I will bring your children here."

"Here?" I said and I thought, _my_ children? I'm not sure that was the way to put it. I didn't think I was an ideal parent, but Kuro-tan on the other hand…He truly would make the perfect father…

"Yes. I have a wish and the Dimensional Witch has told me that for it to at least begin to be granted, the children must come here, to Shura and so, I have wished for them to come here."

"What wish is that?"

"It is the same as yours." He said, smiling, "I, too, wish to be whole again and I suppose I should hurry before you two get too close."

I blushed. "That… that was…" I stammered, then stopped. A question had risen in my mind. "Is that why you took me here – or did the witch tell you I would be there?"

At that, he just smiled and I had my answer.

Then did that mean that Yasha-ou had kissed me in order to help me cure Kuro-tan, or did that mean…?

"What are you thinking?" Ashura-ou said, interrupting my thoughts. "Is it about your kiss with Yasha-ou? He _is_ mine, you know." I laughed, but then grew quiet. I stared down into the cup in my hand. The liquid rippled and Ashura-ou pressed, "What are you thinking?"

I kept my voice quiet. "Do you know about him?"

"About him?" He echoed sweetly.

"Yes." I did not know if I would be doing him a favor by telling him if he did not already know and yet, I couldn't help myself. Perhaps I felt that had our positions been reversed and this had been Celes, I would have wanted to know… "That he…that is…that his eyes and his body are not ali…" I broke off. I had no choice, you see, he had reached across the space that separated us and laid a hand on my mouth. He smiled at me and it was like heartbreak. "You do know." I said when he had pulled his hand away. "Then…your wish….how can…"

He rose suddenly. "I will follow him and we will complete the circle of this life, together." I stared at him. He had turned away from me as he spoke and I wished I had seen his face at that moment, but instead I heard Yasha-ou's fragmented words as we had parted on the battlefield: _"You truly are alike… you two. And that is why I fear…" _

Had he known what would happen when I came here, met Ashura-ou? Had he known that this would be the decision Ashura-ou would make…because of me?

Would I be the cause of this, too, I wondered, and following on the heels of that, wasn't this what I, too, most desired?

I rose. "Isn't there another way...?"

"There is not. He is the only one for me and this is the only way." And it was only now that he finally turned to me and this time he was not smiling and his face was more beautiful now because it was honest and open and trying to make me understand something so important that the very strings of fate had brought us together for this meeting, "Yasha-ou and I only have each other and so the destiny of one is also the destiny of the other, but you, Fai, have many people who love you, and so your destiny is not fixed…Yasha-ou must have known that when he met you…" Ashura-ou pulled in close and reached out to stop me from shaking my head at him, then reached out to wrap his arms around me: this other me who understood truths I could not yet even face… "There are many people who love you, Fai, I have seen that in our dream. You do not have to choose "my" destiny…Please…

"Don't forget that, in the end."

_**To Be Continued…**_


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Yasha-ou was there when I arrived at his tent. He had been waiting for me and he embraced me and I met his eyes fully, unhesitatingly this time before laying my head against his chest, listening to his heart and closing my eyes.

He did not ask about Ashura-ou as he clasped my hands. He did not question anything close to destiny, but I wonder…did he know that _I_ had accomplished my destiny, even in this world? I would be the root of the cause of his death one day…did he know and if he did…why did he embrace me? Why did he look at me like that…? What could he possible want from me and what could I possibly give him to make up for what I was, or what I had done?

"You have gotten the antidote?" He said.

"Yes."

"Then you have spoken with Ashura-ou?"

"Yes."

"And…" He paused, lifted my head so he could see me and I wished I didn't have to be seen. "What did you learn?"

"I learned that you were right. He and I are alike."

He waited. "Is that all you learned?"

I shook my head, wondering if the reason he had told me where to get the antidote, the reason he had kissed me, the reason he had taken my hand the moment we had met was all so he could ask this question. I smiled at him and said, "Yes."

In reply, his face changed, slowly, quietly and he pulled me close, cupped the back of my head and whispered into my ear, "Yes, you are alike, and that is why I feared sending you to him, but, you are also unlike him…" He sighed and pulled me closer, my head rested on his shoulder and I could smell him now and realized he smelled like Ashura-ou… "Ashura-ou is alone, Fai. There is no one else there for him, and the same for me, no one else we will open to, but I know this is not true for you. I would not have told you where to find the antidote if this were true."

I laughed. "You mean Kuro-tan…"

"Yes."

"But I don't…that is…He protected me, I _had_ to…"

"Truly? Is that the reason you went?"

I paused, "I…"

I heard Yasha-ou laugh, I felt it through his chest and I wondered if he felt my own heart begin to speed up at the sound, the feeling, "Even if you do not understand it, even if you do not want to understand it, I think Kurogane does."

"We're nothing alike."

"Exactly. You are completely opposite…"

I paused, lowered my head. "You don't understand. I…can't _let_ that be true." I said and pushed myself away from Yasha-ou. I felt him watching as I came to Kuro-tan's side, as I pulled Sohi from my belt and returned it to his side, where the sword belonged. I felt the king watching as I uncorked the tiny glass bottle of antidote Ashura-ou had present me as he had bid me good-bye. He had been smiling at me and he had been so relieved, I think, that his wish had been made. I wondered if one day, I would be transformed into the same thing as he: this cat-eyed man, or god, or fool, only too happy to join the circles of life and death with love…

I gazed down upon Kuro-tan, swept back his hair from his forehead, touched his cold lips. He had blushed that morning in the springs when he thought I would kiss him. He had protected me all this time, be it from the Oto oni or myself the afternoon he had found me on the edge of the moon castle…Did that mean anything?

Even if I feared it, did I want it to mean something?

_What do you want?_

I did not dare to know what I wanted, but I was very clever and I would not make the same mistake I had made when I had chosen to look into Yasha-ou's eyes. I would embrace this fear and I would not look to see what Kuro-tan thought of me and I would not look to see what I felt for him…

_I could not…because..._

Then, feeling my mouth twist, my hand where it held the antidote grip tight, I knelt beside Kuro-sama, feeling the eyes of Yasha-ou upon us. Then, I pulled my head back, poured the contents of the bottle into my mouth. I felt Yasha-ou watch me as I lowered my lips to Kuro-tan's, as I coaxed them open, as I stroked his throat, felt the sharp points of his teeth and the softness of his tongue. I felt him watch as Kuro-tan swallowed the antidote and when it was all done, I breathed in and Kuro-sama breathed out and at least, for a moment, in this way, it didn't really matter what I felt or did not feel or might feel: we were one.

_**To Be Continued…**_

**Author's Note: Well! Another set of chapters comes to a close...for now! Thanks for reading so far and if you'd be so kind (bows and begs shamelessly :) Please review what you think - the good, the bad, the "what did that mean, exactly" - I'd totally appreciate it! Also! I will be changing chapter 14 with the next update...sigh...I should have looked up moon cycles _before_ starting this fic, but there should have been a full moon that night (the phases of the moon each last a few days, you see...), and so...a battle...**

** So! Please return. Next time will be...dum dum daaaa! The conclusion. Thanks again :)**


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